Memories: Cruel Yet Dear.

Yesterday, I was feeling a little sleepy. The girls were napping so it seemed the perfect moment to close my eyes and catch a few zzz's... As my eyelids drifted shut, I found myself back in my parents house. I walked through the foyer, glancing at myself in the mirror to the right. I turned to the left and slipped off my shoes then stepped off the hardwood over the threshold and onto the cool cement. I could see the red swirling motion the floor seems to give off. I saw the leaf print chair and ottoman sitting in the corner in front of the giraffe dad came home with one year from Africa. To my immediate left I saw the cream colored chair. I could see my porcelain doll sitting on the floor behind it, which was actually broken in the move. I looked to my right and saw the leather couch with a few faint kitty claw marks I hadn't been able to cover with pledge when Rae snuck home a kitten. Further still, the plaid couch now sitting in my downstairs livingroom. If I thought really hard I could see my sister asleep on the couch while Lilah pulled at her hair saying "Mo Mo!" I walked along the back wall and ran fingers across the DVD's and books to the rooms. I glanced into my parents room, no one was there. They must have been at work. I turned to the right and walked into my old room and glanced down at the purple stains in the cream colored carpet where I'd accidentally flung Violet something or other when my mom and I were attempting to clear up Cecelia's thrush. At that point I heard the front door open and mom and dad walk in. Mom walked into the kitchen and hung up the keys, pausing to set her purse on the counter beside the coffee pot. Dad went into the living room where Lilah immediately beelined for him. That was were the memory ended. I opened my eyes looking around my own livingroom, full of furniture that I loved picking out. As my eyes teared up, and I wished for the millionth time that I could just appear back in North Carolina. So. As dear and near to my heart as those memories are, they are even more cruel. Sometimes I wish I had moved away right after high school. I wish I had moved when I got married. Really any time before I had children. Watching Lilah get so attached to grandparents to just get torn away and relocated across the country. It doesn't seem fair to me. There's the cruel.